Trauma and Memories
When experiencing a traumatic event, the kind that leads to PTSD, memories often aren't encoded properly. The parts of the brain that deal with cognitive rational thought are not active. The parts of the brain that deal with fight/flight/freeze/fawn may be active, as may the parts that experience emotions (specifically fear). But the part that just dissociates, turns everything off and goes into survival mode, "just get through it" mode, playing dead, that part doesn't have much else going on when you get to that point.
The results in having experiences while the brain's ability to integrate sensory inputs is partial or nonexistent, when timekeeping is partial or nonexistent, when cohesive narrative about what's happening is partial or nonexistent. Some memory fragments may be records, but they're just that: fragments. A particular creaky floorboard sound and an emotional state of terror may be all that's there. Without narrative, the sound itself becomes the thing that is terrifying. Without timekeeping to place it in a historical context, the sensation is remembered as now.
Recalling those experiences only activates the parts of the brain that were active when the memory was created, so it can be extremely difficult to reason about the experience, or to express it with words (language being part of cognitive thought). Without context, without language for expression, the memories when recalled can produce emotional states seemingly without cause in a way that can't be communicated to others for feedback or reasoned about for self-correction.
The conscious mind, seeking to not be inundated with unprocessable feelings of terror, finds ways to avoid having to recall those memory fragments. For example, getting a divorce from the person who caused the trauma. It's often difficult to create a perfect defense this way, given how small sensory cues like a car door closing or a soda can being opened or the smell of cigarette smoke, can be difficult to avoid completely. Attempting to do so can lead to reclusiveness and resistance to seeking help in ways that would expose the mind to potential triggers.
My experience of being triggered is that whatever memory fragment is called to mind feels like it is happening now, and I have two realities superimposed. Since cognitive function is impaired when in a triggered state, it becomes difficult to rationally identify which experience is happening in the present. It also tends to stop my train of thought and whatever communication process I was engaged in, with conversation partners reporting that I may stop mid-word and stare off into space for a few minutes.
Trauma memories and dreams
The dream state disconnects the body from the mind, allowing the mind to imagine scenarios not possible in reality. The brain often collects pieces of memories and thoughts about the past and future to construct dreamscapes to help process those thoughts and memories, to rationalize and cohere the mind's narrative. However, in the dream state there is limited access to cognitive rational thought. The waking mind has strategies to avoid triggers or memories that are traumatic, in order to maintain mental/emotional balance, but those strategies are unavailable while asleep. Thus, PTSD can cause vivid horror dreams as the brain pokes at the traumatic fragments the conscious mind choses to avoid.
There's contention around whether the dreams themselves are somehow restorative. It's certainly important to be well-rested when doing any kind of significant cognitive/emotional work, but eg using medications to suppress dreams in order to improve rest will inhibit dream functions, many of which are (thought to be) beneficial.
Therapies for PTSD memory fragments
The language difficulties make PTSD memory fragments especially difficult to deal with via traditional talking therapies. EMDR seems to be the leading therapy modality for allowing the brain to stitch fragments together into a form that can be processed productively. The brain process seems to be similar to dreaming, and it's unclear how much the resulting stitched-together memory corresponds to reality. Thus, there is controversy over the output memories, whether they are "planted" or otherwise invented or manipulated. CF thoughts about hypnosis-recovered memories.
As EMDR stitches things together, language becomes more available for discussing the experiences (as they happened or as they were reconstructed?). IFS is often mentioned as a promising modality for processing those experiences constructively, processing the newly cohered memories into a state where the mind can consider that an experience in the past, and have the emotional content be experienced and "marked as complete."
Trauma isn't just experienced in the mind, it's also experienced and stored in the body. Because physical experiences can be triggering, it's common for PTSD folks to have significant dissociation from their bodies, having an ongoing heightened sympathetic nervous response (high levels of epinephrine and norepinephrine), low heart rate variability, and high levels of muscle tension. Therapies that aim to reconnect the mind and body, such as a mindfulness yoga practice, can help. However, being present in the body when the body has unprocessed trauma can result in significant emotional distress. Finding a yoga class specifically for trauma victims, often hosted by a psychologist or social worker, is advisable.
A mindfulness practice can also be beneficial. Even when not triggered, simply sitting for a moment in calm thought, monitoring the state of the body to build awareness, and examining memories and emotions as they emerge through a rational lens, can be good practice for allowing some amount of cognitive process to continue when emotionally activated by recalling traumatic memories. Mindfulness and breathing are both skills that must be practiced in order to be available and effective during times ot stress.
Bibliography:
- The Body Keeps the Score
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